I have a sister going through a life challenge at the moment and I was thinking back to a time when I thought that my life was coming to an end too – not physically, but emotionally. I didn’t know where I was headed. I want to share with you the thoughts I shared with my sister, in the hope that it might encourage some of you too.
Late 1993/early 1994 before I began my business I worked for a pig of a man named George. He had no respect for women. I was engaged to be his Personal Assistant, set up his new office, help buy furniture and equipment and establish the business. He’d been flown over from another state by ‘daddy’ to establish an Eastern seaboard branch of their family business.
My thoughts were I would get 2 years experience in small business before branching out on my own but a few short months with George stripped me of all my confidence and I thought my abilities too. He was rude, demanding, lied, and was horrible. I’d drive into the car garage beneath the office building holding my breath till I could see if his car was there and then start breathing again when it wasn’t. He’d accuse me of losing papers that I would find on his desk in a tray where I’d put them – he never apologised. I was often in tears.
His wife was obviously terrified of him and I asked her one day why she put up with him. She was scared he would hear me – we only had a glass wall between our offices. I ended up going to the doctor because I had all sorts of health problems and in the end the doc said to me ‘put up with it, or leave the job’. So I decided to leave but when I went to give my notice the following day George told me that it wasn’t working out and he’d give me time to find another job. I told him fine, I’m leaving at the end of the week, I’ve got another job. He was totally surprised. My new job? My business. I decided it was now or never and I’m glad I did. I still wasn’t sure what or how it was going to happen but I decided that I didn’t want to find another job – I had to make my business work.
5 months later I bumped into a lady in an office downstairs from George’s and she asked me what we used to do all day? I asked her why and she says there’s always yelling and screaming and George had gone through 5 more secretaries after me. And here I was thinking that I’d not given it enough time to settle. He’d gone through 5 secretaries in 5 months – the amount of time I’d stuck it out with him. Do you think that lifted my spirits?
Use this time as a recovery time and a time for really exploring what you want to do with your life. What are your passions and dreams? What turns on a hot button for you? Is there something you’ve always wanted to do since you were a kid (doesn’t matter if there isn’t but it’s worth going back there to explore).
What I am doing today I have wanted to do all my life. I didn’t know what exactly or how, but I always knew I wanted to run a business of my own. I always knew I wanted control and didn’t want to have to answer to others. I always knew I wanted to write. I just didn’t know what about, when or how. But it’s all come together.
Allow yourself to explore, dream, think, dare – let yourself and your mind go to places you haven’t allowed yourself for a long time. You may find passions there to reignite and from that, new dreams and aspirations. You may find you will gain new strength and courage and be able to move forward and look forward to things again.
If you are going through ’stuff’ right now and can’t see a future or can’t see a light at the end of your tunnel, then take heart. We all go through it and I do mean ‘through it’. There is an end where the light comes back on, the tunnel ends and you can start to see a hope and a future again.
Sometimes it’s those dark tunnels that really help us to turn corners in our lives and even though we don’t feel it at the time, it is often a time of real learning – about ourselves and about others.
I pray and hope that you will be encouraged to spend time thinking and exploring so you can move forward again – and I would love to hear about it!
lack of confidence, dark tunnel, self-confidence, life challenge
Tags: Author's Thoughts, Women in Business, Work From Home by Kathie Thomas
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